What is Important in your life?

Perhaps I am a bit odd in todays world, but my needs are very few. I need to feel secure, I need roots and I need a solid loving relationship with my immediate family.

I do not need investments, a new car every couple of years, I don't need the newest or biggest TV, a big fancy home or a vacation every year.

In the previous post I talked about my Mother and her last years. I developed my attitudes from her.
You see, she was one of these people that didn't have a home - she had an investment which was traded every few years. Most of her adult years she was never content...never really happy with what she had or where she was. I often joked when she bought something that within six months she would start complaining about things talking herself into another move or change.
Mom never was content nor was she happy....because of her need to upgrade. When she was near the end of her life she still was fussy...driven without knowing why or for what. She never reached the point of quiet contentment. It was sad to watch and there was no solution I could provide.

I watched her behavior throughout my young adult life and turned in the opposite direction in behavior and attitudes. Stability and security make me feel safe and content. My happiness and peace of mind is continuous because of my contentment. My husband and I have lived on the same piece of property for over 35 years and I will probably die here. I am happy puttering in my yard, cooking and working in our business.

I live a busy and active life, and when it is all said and done I can honestly say I have been happy much of the time. Of course, it doesn't take much to make me happy, my husband holding my hand, the sight of birds at the feeder, a sunset.

All these things and many more simple every day happens trigger the warm feeling in my heart and I am happy and that feeling slides into a warm secure feeling of contentment.......

Tribute to my Mother

I have gotten around to writing a short article on my experience with Alzheimer's and what happens to some families. This is also a tribute to my Mother and our travels through the stages of this awful disease.


The Watch

Her travel down the long road of life is nearing its end. I sit beside my Mother and listen for that shallow breathing that tells me she has lost this battle with death. I’m just waiting for that last soft breath to leave her body ending her struggle to continue on.

I wonder about the journey this small, shrunken woman is about to embark on….death, so permanent so alone.
I have decided that my own soul will open and accept a bit of hers and carry it on while the rest goes on its own way.

Altogether this is my 5th. year, 4th. month and 15 day of the watch - most of this time it has just been the two of us struggling with the frightening changes and continuous loss of our combined past. It is my chosen job to hold the memories for the both of us. It is my job to be her family and provide the love and security that all living beings require. During this time I have learned so much about life, love, forgiveness and family. Some of these revelations have been good while others have been disappointing.

Now at the end of her life, Mother has no memories of her past, no memories of her family, or children. The slow loss of everything that she had been through has been a horrendous experience for me…as I have experienced every stage, every hurt, and every fear with her for five, long hard years. Even though her mind is devastated with disease and time, she still recognizes the touch of a caring hand or the soft hug. She might not know exactly who I am but she still responds to my voice and touch - like a flower to the sun.

There has been little or no input from family, no real support, and little interest shown. This heartbreaking journey has been hard, for I alone have experienced her day to day pain and changes. Everyone else has blithely gone on their own journey without interruption, relatively untouched with the pain and changes she has suffered.

When my Mom takes that last breath I will be there holding her hand, stroking her hair. Perhaps my touch and caring will ease her into peace and rest. The last thing she will know is someone loves her….that I love her………………

My beloved Mother, Betty Campbell passed away August 18, 2006, with me at her side.

A blessing is doing something for someone...

I have decided this is the year I'm going to learn or do something new. Something I can share with those around me and maybe that will make someones life a little easier or better.

Have you ever thought to volunteer your time or work at a senior center, visit a shut in or some other activity of this variety? If everyone would take just a few hours a month, this old world would be a much better place.

Think about it....it is something that could change your life for the better.

Gram